The So-Called “War on Christmas”

This year, the religious reactionaries are whipping themselves into a masturbatory frenzy over the alleged “war on Christmas”. It’s gotten to the point where they’re veritably foaming at the mouth in simulated rage whenever someone mentions the phrase “Happy Holidays”.

“How dare you try to take ‘Christ” out of Christmas!” they screech to all within earshot.

Y’know, I’m 34 years old, and as far back as I can remember, the phrase “Happy Holidays” has always been used. As I understand it, Christmas isn’t the only holiday that takes place during the month of December; it is merely the most high profile. So, naturally, the phrase “Happy Holidays” can be looked at as the recognition of the other holidays that other people celebrate, as opposed to an attempt to “take Christ out of Christmas.”

This brings me to my next point – “taking Christ out of Christmas.” Please. Spare me your mock anger. Christ hasn’t played a large part in Christmas for as long as I can remember. The absolute most attention the vast majority of people pay to the birth of Christ during the Holiday Season (“Aaaaaaahhhhhh, no, he’s attacking Christmas again!”) is when they say “Praise Jesus, now pass the Playstation.”

This is not to say, of course, that all Christians surrender to the materialistic nature that has come to embody the Holiday Season (“Ack! He said it again!”). In fact, I know a few (and only a few) who generally try to keep true to the spirit of Christmas, but their quiet belief gets buried under the cries of “gimmegimmegimme” that echo through the Hallowed Halls of American Consumerism.

And, there’s the other side of the coin: the secular reactionaries who, like the religious reactionaries, work themselves up into an impotent tizzy when they hear someone say “Merry Christmas.” To these people, all I can say is “shut the fuck up.” These folks are even worse than the religious reactionaries, in my opinion, because they’re trying to prevent people from celebrating an allegedly religious holiday in a manner they deem appropriate. Sure, I criticize what I see as mass stupidity that’s pervasive at this time of year, but I never actually make an effort to stop people from “celebrating” their “holiday.”

I’m not a Christian, and haven’t claimed to be one for more than 20 years. As such, I do not celebrate Christmas, nor any other religious holiday. However, when someone says “Merry Christmas” to me, I return the sentiment. Same thing when someone says “Happy Holidays.”

Does this make me a hypocrite? Not at all, because it causes me neither grief nor pain to politely utter two words in response to someone else politely muttering those words to me.